French for tourists

There is no other country on earth with France's reputation for being rude, snobby and unhelpful to tourists. (French women have a whole different reputation however, but that's for another post) While this is somewhat true, it is because the French are so proud of their culture, heritage, language and identity that they detest anyone coming up to them and asking for directions in crude, unrefined and vile English.

So helpful moi will now be conducting elementary French lessons. Now pay attention and start slouching like you're the coolest person alive and couldn't care less. Light a cigarette and drink wine to complete the effect.

"How do you do" = "Tu as grossi" (tu ah gro - si)
"Nice day isn't it?" = "Est-ce que vous êtes ivre?" (es - ke voo zet eevr)
"You are completely hilarious" = "Tu es completement debile" (tu eh com - plet - e - men de - beel)
"How do I get to this place?" = "De quoi est mort votre dernier esclave?" (de kwa eh mor votr der - nee - er es - klahv)
"Where is the toilet?" = "Combien pour la fillette?" (com - byen poor la fill - et)
"That dress suits your petite frame well" = "Je pense que la robe est trop petite pour vous" (zhe pens ke la roab eh troa pe - teet poor voo)

That's it for today. For more useful phrases go here (don't forget to check out the pronunciation page first).

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