Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Bush re-election speech
If Bush could and did try to run for office again, the following speech would suit him fine.
Welcome! Greetings my fellow Americans. And girl ones, too. These are times of divisions. Red states and blue states. The have-nots and the have-tons-of. The imbecilic, and the amazingly even more imbecilic.
But our America is an enormous fondue pot, where smelly cheeses of all types can meld together in a sort of warm oily mass, for citizens and non-legal residents alike to dip dry bread crumbs on a long metal stick into.
It is my duty to bridge these societal gaps, or at least mince along the fine line between them as deftly as a damn ballerina. ...
Will I seek re-election in the year 2008? I-don't-know-maybe-what-the-hell-sure-I-guess-so. Over the next months I will determine the will of the electorate... and when I say "electorate," I actually don't have a clue what it means, though I suspect it's some type of scalp condition.
In my short time in office, I have learned much about our great nation, for instance; that I can order a tuna fish sandwich from the White House kitchen at 5:00 AM and then send it back at the last minute in favor of a meatball sub. Or, that my motorcade can drive right over a hobo without any apparent repercussions.
I will be addressing you frequently my loyal brethren, citizens, brothers and/or sisters, livestock and upright walking reptile/human hybrids but for now I bid to all those patriots who carry in their hearts a national pride in our own unique culture... "Adieu."Of course, he can't get re-elected no matter how stupid the public is. What's disturbing is that this speech is actually by Max of
Sam & Max fame. Guess this explains a lot of the screw ups Uncle Sam has been pulling over the years...
Hospital opens at 3:20 PM
