There is no other country on earth with France's reputation for being rude, snobby and unhelpful to tourists. (French women have a whole different reputation however, but that's for another post) While this is somewhat true, it is because the French are so proud of their culture, heritage, language and identity that they detest anyone coming up to them and asking for directions in crude, unrefined and vile English.
I used to be a ferocious reader, crunching through several books each week. But now I cannot even remember when I last picked up a book and read it with such enthusiasm from cover to cover. Having said that, I still have a hit list of books I would love to read one day should I ever find them and the time to peruse them.
A man for the millennium, digital and smoke free. A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist. Politically, anatomically, and ecologically incorrect. I've been uplinked and downloaded. I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing. I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech lowlife. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bicoastal multitasker. And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I'm new wave but I'm old school. And my inner child is outward bound. I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted, cool customer. Voice activated and biodegradable. I interface from a database, and my database is in cyberspace. So I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time-to-time I'm radioactive. Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve. Riding the wave, dodging a bullet. Pushing the envelope. I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed. I got no urge to binge and purge. I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar. A high concept, low profile, medium range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps. I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab, and in denial. I got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda. You can't shut me up, you can't dumb me down. 'Cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha male on beta blockers. I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever. Laid back but fashion forward. Up front, down home, low rent, high maintenance. Super size, long lasting, high definition, fast acting, oven ready, and built to last. I'm a hands on, foot loose, knee jerk, head case. Prematurely post traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate mail. But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports. I'm gender specific, capital intensive, user friendly, and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the F word in my email, and the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn. I bought a microwave at a mini mall. I bought a mini van in a mega store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll free, bite sized, ready to wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully equipped, factory authorized, hospital tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle. I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and I have an unlimited broadband capacity. I'm a rude dude, But I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow. I go with the flow. I ride with the tide. I got glide in my stride. Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin', jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'. I don't snooze so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty, and lunch time is crunch time. I'm hanging in, there ain't no doubt. And I'm hanging tough, over and out.
It's funny how some things turn out. So far my current and past 2 addresses have been almost the same - first one was 22, then it was 24, and now it's (surprise surprise!) 23.
[X] You have yelled at an inanimate object for ‘hurting’ you.
[ ] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[ ] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle
[X] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks. (Sigh, happens all the time...)
[ ] You have ran into a tree/bush.
[ ] You have been called a blond.
[X] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow. (Yes it is doable! You just need a long tongue. Or a really short arm.)
[X] You just tried to lick your elbow. (Just had to make sure.)
[ ] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[ ] You sang them to make sure.
[ ] You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
[X] You have choked on your own spit.
So far: 5
[ ] You have seen the Matrix/Star Wars and still don’t get it.
[ ] You type with three fingers or less.
[X] You have accidentally caught something on fire. (Pyromaniac + campfire = bad news)
[X] You have caught yourself drooling.
So far: 7
[X] You have fallen asleep in class. (Just getting my 8 hours...)
[X] Sometimes you just stop thinking. (My brain needs rest too you know?)
[X] Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you were talking about. (Tired brains do weird things.)
[ ] People often shake their heads and walk away from you.
[ ] You are often told to use your “inside voice.”
So far: 10
[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math.
[X] You have eaten a bug by accident. (Twas bitter. And sour. )
[ ] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[X] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it. (It is vogue for kids.)
[ ] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.
So far: 12
[ ] You re-post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.
[X] You break/lose a lot of things. (Usually inanimate objects for 'hurting' me.)
[X] You tilt you’re head when you’re confused.
[X] You have fallen out of your chair before. (Gravity is strong.)
[ ] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
[ ] The word “um” is used many times a day.
[ ] You don’t know what “um” means.
[X]You say “what” and “huh” a lot. (Cool people use them heaps.)
[ ]You used a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.
Total: 16
Multiply your total by 3 to get your retardation percent.